0

I Just Want To Do My Job

Since graduating from uni, I have inevitably had to search for a part time job, as like 99.9% of people in my situation, I have come out of uni even more clueless and under prepared for my future and lacking career ideas more so than I was when I went in.

Luckily, I found a job in a local supermarket (after mindlessly applying for anything that sounded remotely good, as long as it was in 5 miles of me),  and after many confused “you have a degree, why are you here?!”‘s, I soon fitted right in and you will not believe me, but actually liked the job! (I know, who says that!)

Now, my shift pattern (here, newbie: have all the evening shifts that no one else wants!), and part of the shop I work in means I often work alone, something I didn’t mind and actually had become quite accustomed to (I like doing things exactly how I want to and although having a colleague is nice, sometimes they just get in the way ya know). It also means I get to have to talk to all of the customers that come into the area and ask for help/service on the counter.

Now don’t get me wrong, I do love talking to some customers, ones that are cheerful and polite, and ones that look like their day needs brightening: I really get a buzz from it. Unfortunately however there is one particular kind of customer that I absolutely hate talking to (and unfortunately I think a lot of gals can relate: SO WRONG).

I am talking about the sleazy male. You know, the one that probably cat calls or beeps his horn at women he passes. The one that of course is an ‘absolute lad’ and has self confessed ‘top banter’. And of course any one with a vagina is universally known as ‘love’ by him. (Side note, only call a stranger ‘love’ if your aim is to make their skin crawl: it has a 100% success rate).

Anyway, I have a few regular customers that are variations of this species. When I first started my job, a female colleague had told me stories of how these men had tried it on with her  creeped her out, and warned me it might happen to me, but as a lot of women may know, even if you think you are ready for this situation, when it happens it still puts you on edge.

The worst of my customers like this started off as a friendly guy, but like a lot of (not all) guys of this variety, quickly moved on from being friendly to very much overly friendly. I don’t know if he mistook my generic customer friendliness for me really liking him specifically, or whether he is just so desperate that he tries it on with anything with boobs. I said goodbye to him after his second or third visit thinking nothing of it, but when he returned for a fourth visit I was on edge.

He had clearly told his friend about me as he was talking about me to him on the phone, and then put his friend on speaker as he was saying something about me (it was probably SOOO BANTEROUS AND HILAR (demeaning and sexist) but unfortunately (luckily) I didn’t hear), then went on tell his friend that no, he didn’t know my age, but his friend should know that he loves women with my hair colour and what he would do to a woman with it. Seeing as they are quite clearly talking about me I pipe with ‘I’m 21.’ in the most deadpan voice with an undertone of ‘you are clearly about twenty years older than me, please see how creepy you are being and realise I am too young’ which he clearly didn’t receive as he went ‘ohhhhh she’s legal!’. SHE’S LEGAL? SHE’S FUCKING LEGAL?! NO, NOPE, DO NOT. At this point, if I wasn’t already on edge enough as it was, this really pushed me over the fucking edge and off the cliff, into the sea of my own sick that he had just made me feel.

Not realising his behaviour was not okay, he then proceeded to tell me that he has everything he needs now, but still no number or date, before leaving, and leaving me in utter disbelief at him.

I have not had the fortune of encountering him since this incident, but believe me I am literally so scared every time I start a shift in case I encounter him (even if my friend gave me the best comeback to the date line if he asks again- dates can be found near the fruit and veg, probably next to the prunes- but will I have the balls to use it? Probably not.)

Why has society created such an atmosphere where some men think it is okay to objectify women, even at their place of work, to an extent I feel all I can do is give a polite laugh rather than stick up for myself due to fear? This is a place I have to be, I’m just trying to earn some money, I can’t escape.

I shouldn’t feel scared to go to work in case I encounter this man, but until he realises it isn’t okay to behave like this, I will.

I could talk about this topic for so long but a lot of my anger makes me incapable of articulating my thoughts, so I will leave it here, but something really needs to change.

(I know not all men are like this and this is just one personal experience and opinion but other women also experience similar things on a daily basis).

publicconsultation_gender_equality.jpg

 

 

 

 

Advertisements
1

An Open Letter To My Mum

Dear mum,

I was fine with the way I looked. You clearly weren’t.

Out of the blue one day you knocked me for six (not 6 lbs as you would wish) when you told me I eat too much. Eat too much? That day I hadn’t even had lunch, let alone snacks, just a normal sized breakfast and dinner. ‘Yes! Eat too much!’ you shouted, making me feel guilty about my (low fat) yogurt I was about to enjoy, guilt-free after a hard gym session. I’ve been at uni and you have no idea what I eat so what an ignorant statement in the first place, but then you tell me that ive done nothing all day to warrant that yogurt?! I suppose an hour of intense work out leaving me sweaty and red doesn’t count. In your world the standards are too high.

Mum, I was proud of myself when I took the initiative to add extra vegetables to my Uncle Ben’s rice pot to make it more healthy. When I told you this you just shouted at me saying it was just ‘extra calories’. VEGETABLES???? What a way to shoot me down.

I put the yogurt back and went upstairs, angry and sad.

You decided to follow me, and told me that I’d gained at least a stone since you last saw me (I’m still a healthy dress size 10-12 like I have always been, if anything I thought I had lost weight and was feeling happy).

If that wasn’t enough you told me there was ‘no nice way of saying it’. REALLY. I can think of plenty nicer ways than just dropping this on me in such a straight talking shouting way when I’ve done nothing to provoke it. In fact ive done things in the opposite direction like that healthy eating thing you clearly don’t approve of, and I joined a freaking gym.

You had a go at me for shouting at you (that’s rich) and slamming the door in your face (which would be any normal persons reaction), and started crying. You are in no position to cry. But that makes two of us at it.

I cried for about 3 hours straight that night. But hey, maybe I cried out some calories.

The next day I ate even less than usual and became really self conscious about my body.

I still am very self conscious. Do you see what you’ve done to me? The person I am supposed to trust most in the world and the one person who’s meant to make me happy and protect me against situations just like this very one? You’ve destroyed my self confidence. In that one sentence I went from very happy with myself to very unhappy with myself, even though I am still exactly the same, and that is because of you.

You can’t see how much you’ve hurt me because despite all of this I don’t want to have to explain to you when you ask why I’m upset, I know it (might) hurt you and I don’t want to do that to you. But could you please stop with the (not so) subtle weight comments every day like ‘be careful what you pick at the restaurant’ and ‘oh cider? that explains a few things’, they really don’t help. Can’t you see I’m actively doing things to control my weight and stop me gaining by going to the gym and stuff? Shouldn’t that be enough? To know I try even if you don’t think its working? And failing that shouldn’t the fact I’m healthy, (was) happy, and doing well at uni be the top concerns?

And no, I haven’t gained a stone, and yes, my work shirt does still fit, better than ever actually.

0

Fashion Faves of 2014

Wow, where did 2014 go?! This question got me thinking about everything I have achieved this year, and more importantly, what I have worn!

Here is what I couldn’t get enough of throughout the year.

1. The Kimono

As an avid cardigan wearer, when I saw Kimono’s I instantly fell in love. More stylish and pretty than cardigans, the kimono was a great alternative, and I often used it as the base of my outfit to style the rest around. Unlike a cardigan, which can sometimes spoil an outfit as it is just chucked on top purely to keep warm, a kimono can actually add to it, and be fit for both casual and formal use.

Perfect for: Making an outfit look smarter or more stylish in a simple way.

shopping

2. The Midi Dress

Flattering. Sexy. Stylish. I’m not sure there’s much else to say about this. I now have a collection of midi dresses bigger than all my other types of dresses put together. They have become my dress of choice as I feel they are classy and great for a drunken night out when you don’t want to be pulling your dress down all night!

Perfect for: Any smart occasion, seriously I wouldn’t hold back wearing this style of dress!

Unknown

3. A-Line Skirts

The high-waisted aspect of these skirts, along with the way they skim curves and don’t stick to your legs makes them another flattering wardrobe staple. I bought my first one in July, and upon wearing it and seeing how flattering it was to my legs -it ends about mid-thigh (covering up the fatter part of my upper thigh), and the fabric shape means it is fanned out slightly from the leg, making them look even thinner-  not to mention my stomach (the way it is high waisted and kind of bell shaped, means it isn’t clingy and doesn’t highlight any ‘problem’ areas, making the wearer look taller and thinner), made me fall in love. I frantically googled ‘A-Line Skirts’ and bought three more. They are so versatile and you can wear them again and again with different tops to create different looks. I particularly like bold patterned ones, as with a plain cami, statement necklace and heels, it makes a killer outfit.

Perfect for: A night out, maybe a celebratory one like a birthday.

27M16GMUL_large

4. Jumpsuits

I am so jealous of tall women, as they can pull of jumpsuits like no other! I am so glad this style continued to breakthrough again in 2014 though, it just looks so good while being so easy to wear! I would recommend simple ones as sometimes ones with too many embellishments can look too fussy and not so on-point. If you fancy having a break from wearing a dress or skirt when dressing up then this is the item for you!

shopping

5. Co-ords

When this first made an appearance on the fashion radar, I wasn’t quite sure, but now I have grown to love this trend. People that can pull off the patterned ones look amazing, but so far I have only managed a plain black one. I like that it looks smart while at the same time feeling casual as it is not quite a dress. I hope this one sticks around long into 2015!

s1100055_emily_19.08.14_aj117319_a_5

6. Statement Coats

With the coat being such a necessary item in winter  pretty much every season in the UK, I always try to get the most on-point one that reflects my style as much as possible. Some years I struggle, but this year I was spoilt for choice! I loved the Duster Coats, the Collarless Coat and the Wide Collared Coat. They all looked so girly and pretty, and I particularly loved the fact that normally I feel a coat ruins an outfit, but this year they became part of the outfit.

Perfect for: Looking stylish while keeping warm.

Unknown

7. Patterned Trousers

I’ve only recently become brave enough to wear these, and I can’t believe I didn’t do it sooner! I’ve really been missing out! I’ve only got a subtle monochrome print pair, and at first I did feel like I was wearing pyjamas, but once I chucked a pair of heels and a statement necklace on I felt amazing and ready to hit the clubs! My resolution for 2015 is definitely to become braver with patterns as they look great (when you have the confidence to go with them) dressed up or down, and really add something to what could just be a standard outfit.

Perfect for: A night out in colder months- you’ll still look hot but also feel it too!

shopping-1

I for one can’t wait to see what next year will bring for us,

Uni Girl xx

0

Boxing? Nahh, More Like Shopping Day.

So here we are again, another Christmas Day has whizzed by. So fast in fact, that the only proof we have it was actually here is the mountains of left overs, the empty tree and the loosened belts. Oh, and the sales!

I’ve always loved a good sale, even more so now I’m a student, but I am so adverse to them starting on Boxing Day (or at least so early on Boxing Day that it’s basically still Christmas Day), and here’s why.

1. I work in retail. 

And not just any form of retail. No, I happen to work for the retail King of Boxing Day sales. The one that everyone gets excited for. All the sleep deprived bargain hunters  hop out of bed at 5.30am 2am in the hope of getting a £2 off t-shirt from last season, or failing that, any thing they can get their hands on, regardless of want, just to have as a trophy of their effort.

To these people, Boxing Day sales probably couldn’t start early enough, but to a poor hung over and tired sales assistant the idea of having to drag yourself out of bed, only mere hours after falling into it, in a food and drink induced coma, to greet thousands of aggressively keen shoppers with a fake smile that they could not care less about, is not the best thought of the year. In fact, and I’m gonna put it out there; it almost ruins Christmas Day. It looms over it worse than the after-affect of a Brussels Sprout. In fact, most of us spend the year dreading that moment that we have to cut Christmas short.

This leads on to my next point.

2. Christmas is a time for family.

This is especially true in this modern world that sees everyone leading such busy lives that we barely see each other. And if you have a student in your family.

When I was growing up, Boxing Day, was to me just another Christmas Day. We went to my grandparents house for round two, where there was more food than we’d seen all year, and we even split up the presents to ensure there was something to open (I was young and it was Christmas, okay, that was the highlight). This was lovely and I wish we still did this, especially since now I live away I barely see my parents, let alone extended family.

This need for shopping (which I can only imagine comes from itchy shop tills who have had to be shut for a whole day previously, I mean it’s not like you as a shopper haven’t got enough new stuff to occupy you), has unfortunately modernised the Christmas period, and cut short the amount of family time. You can shop all year round, but you can’t always see your great aunt Barbara who has travelled all the way from Scotland to be with you. But hey, I guess it stops the extra weight being piled on from day number two, and even burns some calories from that cheeky extra slice of cake yesterday.

3. Discounted Presents

So, you’ve just opened up your shiny new present, only to go the sales the next day to find it £10 cheaper. Obviously it’s the thought that counts, but to the present giver it must be so annoying knowing you could’ve saved yourself that money (and then you could spend it in the sales, perfect!). I mean, there’s nothing wrong with having a discount but that close to Christmas must be gutting.

I have nothing against sales at Christmas time, nor the people that choose to go to them (if you snooze, you lose) I just wish they would start the day after Boxing Day to let everyone enjoy the quality festive time, and not rush out of Christmas so quickly, after all it’s a shame to give it such a big build up for it to pass by in a flash.

I hope you grab some bargains nevertheless,

Uni Girl xx

4

Welcome to My World

Hello to all you lovely people bothering to read this!

I’m just your average teenage girl but I wanted to start this blog to share my life experiences with people, particularly those that people might be able to learn from. Its the kind of thing I often hope to stumble upon when googling ‘does that boy fancy me’ etc, and I hope people will find this, not only physically but also find it helpful.

If you like to laugh at people’s funny or embarrassing stories from their day, trust me you’ll love this blog cos my life’s full of them!

I also aim to blog about things every teenage girl can relate to, such as boys, clothes and celebs, not to mention uni. Hopefully some of my personal advice will be of help to people too!

Hope you enjoy this peak into my world,

Uni Girl xx